Wedding is a ceremony where a couple is united by
rituals, love and support by friends and family. In the Indian culture, marriage symbolizes not just the
sacred union of two individuals, but of the together-ness of two families as
well. Their level of involvement is profound highly that typically the family
decides the bride/groom. In fact, until a few decades ago the bride and the
groom saw each other for the first time only on their wedding day. This trend
has changed in urban areas, and in the present day, youngsters have a better
say in choosing their life partner. Families search for eligible partners for
their children through word of mouth or marriage priests primarily. However
with the Internet revolution in India online matrimonial sites are becoming
popular. Different cultures have different ways of
performing a wedding ceremony. Some cultures follow the traditional wedding
setting, whereas others might follow a themed-based wedding. For example,
having a beach wedding or a fairy-tale wedding or a royal wedding. Wedding
traditions and customs vary between cultures, religions and countries. Most
wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of vows for the couple, a ring ceremony,
and a public declaration of marriage by an authoritative figure or a leader. Along
with the universal ceremonies, many other rituals are followed in different
cultures and religions. India is known for having a variety of cultures under
one roof. Details will be focusing on the rituals and ceremonies performed in a
Hindu, Indian family, along with influences media has on Indian families due to
modernization.History of weddings in India
Arranged
marriages have been part of the Indian culture since the fourth century (Bloch,
2004). Arranged
marriages are strictly intra-religion and intra-caste. Compatibility of the
couple is assessed on the basis of horoscopes, and if good, then an alliance is
sought for. Arranged marriages
are still the norm, love marriages
are becoming a common occurrence these days, predominantly in urban areas. Many consider the practice a central
fabric of Indian society, reinforcing the social, and the historic significance
of India. According to Divakurini, in his book, he mentions the six arranged
marriages functions served in the Indian community: (1) helps maintain the
social satisfaction system in the society; (2) gives parents control, over
family members; (3) enhances the chances to preserve and continue the ancestral
lineage; (4) provides an opportunity to strengthen the kinship group; (5)
allows the consolidation and extension of family property; (6) enables the
elders to preserve the principle of endogamy (Bloch, 2004). As generations
passed, Technology advanced, knowledge earned, more and more people have become
modern and adapted to the multi-cultural themes in their lives. Just as Dowries in India is prohibited today,
Indians have moved forward in life by still keeping the authentic rituals alive
in their lives today.
Indian Wedding
Décor Elements
Indian weddings are known to be amazingly
beautiful and colourful. Although India is a diverse country regards to
cultures and traditions, there are some décor elements that invoke the typical
beauty and colours of the country. The wedding décor elements can be used to
create an Indian fantasy wedding. When we think of India, we often think of
gorgeous, lush fabrics and textures; along with the strong smell of spices.
Fabrics in rich and bright hues like red, orange, blue, yellow and parrot green
are the most glamour yet common colours used in an Indian wedding. Metallic
prints and embroidery, bead, sequin and crystal work, and opulent brocades all
work well together (Kolenda, 1984). Using these lush fabrics for drapes, different
sarees (drape dress) as a decorative element for a unique touch is colourful, along
with metallic coloured cushions. It is often important for an Indian bride to
have colour combination in her wedding. For instance, one of the events, if the
décor set up is green and yellow, the bride along with the rest of the females
attending the wedding will be asked to wear green and yellow.
Flowers are
a huge part of Indian wedding decorations and any other important function or
cultural events. Using fresh blooms incorporates the sheer variety of colours,
shapes and looks. Seasonal flowers like marigolds, lilies and roses are always
popular depending on the time of the year. Garlands are hung across the rooms,
the mandap, which is the tent where the Hindu traditional wedding takes place
(Kolenda, 1984) is also decorated by colourful flowers. Just as flowers are an
essential element in a Hindu wedding, to light up the ambience, candles and
diyas (clay candle) are also key elements in an Indian wedding Décor.
Pre-wedding
rituals
The pre wedding rituals consist of
engagement, Haldi, the Turmeric paste ceremony, mehendi, also known as Henna is
applied to the bride and the Sangeet party, which is musical event hosted by
brides friends for the two families. Followed by the engagement where the couple
exchanges rings. Haldi is a ritual holy bath during
which, married women apply, Turmeric, oil and water to both the bride and the
groom. This indicates that in the Hindu customs, a married woman is given more
pride for fulfilling her marriage duties.
This is followed by mehendi ceremony,
during which the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with intricate patterns
of Henna. On a lighter note, it is believed that, deeper the color of the
henna, stronger is the groom’s love for the bride. With foot tapping music and
dances, this ‘ladies-only’ party lends a break from the otherwise more
ritualistic ceremonies by performing in dance shows in the musical event called
Sangeet. In this party, all aged groups of both side
families are attending. Moreover, today there are bachelorette parties arranged
for the bride and groom, where the youngsters enjoy and celebrate according to
the western traditions. This is an example, where East meets west. Next is the
Tilak ceremony, in which the bride's brother applies tilak, a red colour paste
on the forehead of the groom. This is to honour respect to the groom and
welcome him in the new family. Applying the Tilak on the forehead signifies “a
hierarchal status in the family for the groom” (Narottam, 2012).
Indian Wedding
Rituals
The wedding
is usually held at the bride’s home. The arrival of the groom is an important
and fun-filled event. The groom, dressed in his wedding attire, leaves his home
on a decorated horse or for the more extravagant, on a decorated elephant. However,
these days, these customs are not seen any more as most grooms like to travel
by luxury cars. At the wedding venue,
the bride waits for the groom, with a Jai-mala,
which is a ceremony of exchanging decorated garlands. On a lighter note, it is
considered that, whoever puts the garland first on their partner, will have an
upper hand in the marriage (Narottam, 2012). Kanyadaan
or giving away of the bride, is an important part of the main wedding
ritual. Kanyadaan is derived
from the Sanskrit words kanya, which
means virgin girl (Narottam, 2012) and daan,
which means giving away (Narottam, 2012). The father of the bride
performs this ceremony, where he gives his daughter to the groom, requesting
him to accept her as an equal partner. The bride and groom are considered to be
married when the groom ties a mangalsutra,
a beaded chain, which is a sacred thread that symbolizes his promise to
take care of the bride as long as he lives. The entire wedding is done around an sacred
fire. Agni (fire god) is
considered as the main witnesses to the marriage. The bride and the groom then
circle the fire seven times, in a clockwise direction (Narottam, 2012), called Saat Phere, which signifies seven
goals of married life that include religious and moral duties, prosperity,
spiritual salvation and liberation, and sensual gratification (Narottam, 2012).
The wedding culminates with the groom applying vermillion to the bride’s forehead,
welcoming her as his partner for life. This is the first time that it is applied to the forehead of
woman. Another popular wedding tradition is Joothe Churana (stealing the shoes)
(Narottam, 2012). The bride’s sisters hide the groom’s shoes, and demand the
groom a lump sum amount of money, approximately around $2,000 or $3,000 to have
the shoe returned, which is then divided between all the bride's sisters and female friends.
Mentioned above
are the traditional Hindu wedding rituals and ceremonies performed before and
after the wedding ceremony. In an Indian family, morals and values are an
important aspect since a child is born. These values have been described in our ancient
texts, the Vedas (Wedding
as text,book)
and have been practiced for centuries in India and elsewhere. According to the Hindu Dharmashastra, Sanskrit texts, it is
obligatory on every person to get married, as it is one of the sacraments purity
of the body (Wedding as text,book). Though marriage is thus universally set for
all Hindus, the society as such is hedged in which several rules and restrictions
fall under two heads, endogamy and exogamy. A Hindu may not marry outside his
caste or her caste. Hyper gamy relates to the social rule by which a woman
should be married to a man who is either her equal or superior in rank. Such
practice is widely common by which men of a higher caste would take in marriage
a women from lower caste but will not give their daughters in return. It was
customary among the most Hindus to marry a girl before puberty (Norattam, 2012).
According to some researcher, they mention that what used to happen three to four
centuries ago, do not seem to happen today by the twenty-first generation
children (Mukherjee, 2002). Due to western influences through media,
traditional parents find it difficult to keep their children involved in the
rituals and ceremonies. The wedding rituals mentioned above, do not seem to be
interesting to many youth today. Unless it is going to a musical function or
the bachelor party where, music and alcohol is present.
Today
many Indian families feel the western culture has over powered the authentic
Indian culture. Media is well known to create awareness, inform, educate,
entertain and mold our societies in passive but an effective way. Majority of
the youth groups in India watch western shows and prefer to study in a western
institution in India or abroad. Today, choosing a non-Indian life partner has
become common in many Indian households today. Indian parents surely bend in
front of their children’s happiness on some terms and conditions, such as the
financial security of the spouse along with their educational backgrounds,
which would further be used in the married couple’s life. India is known for its heavy customs and
traditions, the couple who is about to get married, have to participate in the
Indian wedding rituals and ceremonies mentioned above. Indian mothers always say, “ There is a
meaning behind every ritual we do in our culture”. For example the kanyadan
ceremony, where the father gives his daughters hand to the groom states that it
is a promise that the groom is giving to his father-in-law to keep his daughter
happy and share an equal life.
Today, wedding planners are appointed to set up an Indian wedding. Western themes are incorporated in the wedding. But the Indian customs and traditions are not allowed to die. They have to be an essential part of the wedding. One modern Indian family I, interviewed, mentioned that “ we have given our children the freedom to choose their life partners today. But on one condition: and that is to get married in a Indian culture manner with all the rituals and prayers”. It is known in the Indian Vedas, that marriage is the key aspect in a Hindu’s life.
Second generation
Indians growing up in North America, fall in love and decide to get married
they are naturally apprehensive about traditions that they would like to follow
even when their partner is Indian. Concerns arise when one of the partners has
no Indian background. Growing up in a land where their neighbors, classmates
and friends are not Indians, they are exposed to their original Indian cultural
practices in weddings or when they visit relatives in India. Their concerns are
dual: first to make sure they design a ceremony that does justice to their own
tradition (but largely that of their parents), and, second, to make sure that
their friends are a part on their special day. This is pressure. Youngsters, today
find it difficult to cope not only due to the many unknowns implicit in a
wedding preparation but also the ceremony itself with rituals, events and steps
that are not fully clear to the couple. According to Dr. Srinivasan, it is precisely
where a knowledge of the Vedas may go a long way to help the couple to (1) be
aware of the fundamentals driving the ceremonies, (2) understand the spirit of
the approach to performing such wedding rites and (3) appreciate the sheer
beauty and depth involved in the procedures (Kolenda, 1984). The couple needs
to realize that the core message in the Vedas is truly modern in that it
insists on truth rather than belief, joy instead of fatalism, friendship and
community along with duty (Kolenda, 1984).
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